It is no secret that I as a Staten Islander am friendly and supportive in working with or spreading the word about fellow Islanders and their recent successes in TV and/or media (I.E: Priscilla BGC, but more recently, All of my friends on Mobwives, especially Angela Raiola a.k.a “Big Ang“).
I am not one to ever really lower myself or let certain things affect me, but last night, I exhibited normal human like qualities versus the professional public figure that I am, and ya’ know what? That’s Life… sometimes it happens. Not everyone reading this right now knows what I am talking about, but I am going to go forward and tell you the story, and than open up the forum for you to comment on, because to me… this was a real life example of a lesson we can teach our youth of today in HOW NOT TO TREAT OR SPEAK TO OTHERS!!!
Last night I was invited to the Drunken Monkey in Staten Island which is Ang’s bar that she owns, and she has a weekly viewing party with various stars from the show including Jenn Graziano the producer of Mobwives. We get to all sit around and watch the show and live tweet about the events on the show. I thouroughly enjoyed this and it was cool to sit and watch the show with Jennifer Graziano (the show’s creator). It was extra great to get the perspective of the executive producer as the show was on… how many people can say they get to do this?
With that said, I took a photo with Ang and threw it up onto my facebook, and it was positively recieved by over 75 people in less than 5 minutes! Likes, comments and shout outs were threading quickly under the photo, until ONE person comments and changes the whole postive experience into a negative. ALL IT TAKES IS ONE PERSON TO RUIN ANYTHING RIGHT!? A comment came posted under the photo which read “Big Ang has many gay friends, even in Staten Island..” (and I just wrote it legibly in correct grammar cause half of it wa spelt wrong. So I proceeded to boil and steam up, and contemplated ignoring it and removing it and being a better person, but the rage inside me was so great, and all I thought of for some reason, was the little girl Amanda Cummings who succommbed to internet preditors. Therefore I unleashed and said a multitude of things but basically pressed the issue and asked the individual what he insinuated in his comment, and assured him that I was not gay and didn’t take lightly to him calling me that or even insulting gays as a whole. He fired back another comment about how he heard it was word on the street that I was and that it’s ok to be gay and that there are new laws for “their kind.” So what he did was bash this select group of indivudals and assumed that I was part of them. Well needless to say the first three letters of assume are ASS and that’s exactly what he made of himself; plus said something about me as if he knows me, when I hardly know who he is.
The exchange went back and forth for almost an hour and others were jumping in and firing good shots at him, but I basically saw that it was out of hand and I was hosting an open forum for people to stoop to the “shitty” level of one negative absent minded person. Now I am an advocate for people and equality as a whole and for people to unite rather than discriminate or act in appropriate ways toward others, however, this has been a sore spot of mine for years. I never really open up about it and speak, but I am going to today because I feel that I have been blessed with a platform to be able to help others in the situation who aren’t as strong as I am.
Being a young man in performing arts, having a multitude of talent’s and good looks, I was always teased in school and called gay, faggot, homo… etc. (as was Elvis Presley) Now for most people reading this, you’d say, “but so what, who cares, you know you’re not, talk is cheap, brush it off and move on, they’re just jealous and ignorant….” yeah, all well and good, but when you hear it and have these feelings pent up of rage, saddness, aggravation, and all the tell tale signs of being a victim of verbal bullying, it takes a toll. So from a young age when you hear select people say something on a constant versus the majority of people enjoying what you do, it gets to you. I thank God I always had a great support system in mom, dad, and my brother to come home and vent about it to, because words are hurtful!
It of course had died down and was almost seldom said in high school, and in college I almost NEVER heard anyone say any thing. Last night stirred up a lot of aggravation and rage from the past, and made me say, with the recent events of this young girl not speaking up, lashing out, or fighting back, I am going to do so; and I did… I let him have it every which way including up, down , front and sideways, and I felt great after doing so. Than “my followers” jumped in and he ultimately apologized, which was half ass and not real, and removed himself from the thread as well as me than blocking him from my sites and social media services.
You may say, “wow all this for a stupid remark?” To you it’s a stupid remark, to me, it’s a whole history of stuff I went through on account of these words. No disrespect to anyone who is gay, I am happy they embrace who they are and love life! I have students who have come out to me, friends who are openly gay, and even close musician friends… I am one to not discriminate what and who they are. By no means am I discrediting them as individuals, but for someone who is not that way, it is not a nice thing to have said about yourself.
What people don’t know about me full fletched is that I am a man of high respect to the opposite sex, women are not objects to me, they are people as well. Most men today wanna hit it, and quit it. That’s not me, never was and never will be! I am a religious education teacher, and also have a deep rooted faith. So being well kept, well dressed, morally and socially correct must make me a “homo” cause I don’t have women hanging off of my arms, and my pants hanging off my ass? The problem is today, people (and this was a grown man who said it yesterday) have no respect for others and should just back up and filter their brains before taking it upon themselves to interject an opinion where it is not needed or solicited upon. This just goes to show ignorance affects everyone. No one is exempt from it. We as people in the public are open more to it as moving targets for envious people to fire at, as this guy did (yes I said guy, he was at least over 50 and I am 25, keep that in mind).
So what compelled me to write this blog today and speak out? Well I recieved a facebook inbox which very simply said, “you are an inspiration for a lot of youngsters and your success goes to show that morality is an important part of it! Much more success… and hopefully less ignorance from jealous and envious people!!!” So I am using my morality to show and tell people to lash out, speak back and fight for yourself to not be victimized to any form of bullying.
This couldn’t have happened at a better time when I am working with various people across the area to raise awareness in self defense and speaking out against bullying. So I ask you, was I wrong for doing what I did, or should I have ignored him? Do you think he was ignorant, stupid or both? I say ALL OF THE ABOVE… your turn, lemme hear ya #teamvinnie!
By the way, writing this blog has made the negative situation I experienced, very positive and it feels great to speak with you all about this and share such an important topic.
Last year, after a tiring weekend of gigs and performances, France and I went to get a bite to eat at a diner, and began speaking about path’s in life and what’s to come for people like ourselves and the next phase of things. We always have great conversation, which adds to a great friendship.
Today while watching News at Noon a story was developed about a team of people campaigning for a Barbie doll that is bald. This is to educate kids and young women about still being beautiful while dealing with terminal illness and cancer. The campaigners Facebook page issued a statement saying, “We would like to see a Beautiful and Bald Barbie made to help young girls who suffer from hair loss due to cancer treatments, Alopecia or Trichotillomania. Also, for young girls who are having trouble coping with their mother’s hair loss from chemo.”